The Donald Swats a Bite Out of Alcatraz with Gator Run-in

Sources say the former president was spotted on a boat near the infamous island prison, where he allegedly attempted throw somebits to a massive crocodile. Witnesses report that Trump even got a little too close with the animal, leading some nervoussnickers. The {entireincident was captured on video, and clips have quickly gone trending online.

  • The reason for this encounter is unknown
  • chose Alcatraz
  • conspiracy theories abound that he waslooking for attention

Urgent Update: The Donald and the Danger Lizards!

A shocking development is unfolding at Mar-a-Lago as we speak/right now/at this very moment. Sources report that former President The Donald has encountered a pack of dangerous lizards, said to be mutated by radiation/the result of government experiments/escaped from Area 51.

A nervous pool boy claim to have seen the former leader battling with the creatures, wielding a silver spoon. The situation is still developing/unfolding/sketchy, and we await official statements from Mr. Trump's staff.

Stay tuned for more updates on this utterly bonkers event!

The Donald's Wild Tour of Alcatraz

Get ready for a wild ride, folks! Tweeter-in-Chief is hitting the rock/island/prison like never before in a tour/experience/adventure they're calling the Gator Gauntlet. Sources say he's planning on showing off/lecturing about/taking control of the island, wearing a MAGA hat the whole time. He's even rumored to be order a giant cheeseburger from McDonald's during his visit. This ain't your grandma's tour of Alcatraz, folks. Brace yourselves!

  • Will Trump be able to handle the cold?/Will Alcatraz stand up to Trump?/Can anyone stop Trump?
  • Stay tuned for updates on this crazy story!/Follow us for all the latest Trump news!/Don't miss out on this wild ride!

Alligator Alcatraz? You Betcha, Says Trump

Folks, lemme tell ya somethin'. The swamp down in Florida is gettin' out of hand. They got these giant lizards runnin' free. And what do they do? Nothing! They just let 'em roam around. But not me, I wouldn't stand for that. We gotta get tough of these reptiles. That's why I say we gotta build a gator jail - Alcatraz for these pesky beasts, folks! That's what makes America great, takin' dealin' with the tough stuff.

  • Make America Great Again !

Trump's Wild Ride: Presidential GATOR Safari!

This ain't your typical fundraiser, folks. The Commander-in-Chief himself is hitting the swamps on a wild adventure. That's right, we're talking about Trumphunting for gators. Sources say click here he's packing his favorite hat and expecting a challenge. Will he make a deal with the biggest gator in the swamp? Only time will tell!

Can You Believe This?! Trump Goes Cage Diving With Gators

Folks, you are not gonna want to hear about this! The Donald himself, previous Prez Trump, has decided to go on a wild expedition. He's swapping his golf clubs for some serious grit and is going into a pen full of hungry alligators! Word on the street that this whole thing was his idea.

What could possibly be more wild? Only time will tell.

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